Day 1
In the year of 4527there was a dreadful looking robot. No one knew her, not even I knew her and knew everyone . Was she a new girl? It was half an hour later and she was still standing there like a lamppost. I decided to go see if she was alright because she seemed confused “hi are you alright”I said as I approached her nervously. She replied back also said hi,at that point I didn’t know what to say next I was surprised that she could even talk. As I walked away she was now looking at me suspiciously. Maybe she thought I was weird I shouldn’t of went over to her In the first place,she was still looking at me 5 minutes later so I decided to go home. I was running with full pace I was so worried that I didn’t really care about stopping at the local newsagents . When I got in I looked out the window and I saw her again. I was starting to get scared,was she a spy? Was she a detective? Who was she?
Day 2
It’s 9:30 and i’m very tired,I went bed at 1 in the morning because I was so worried about the girl knowing were I was every minute.I got out of my bed and I didnt even decide to look out the window. I went down stairs and went to go and get a cup of tea,I didnt have any milk to have a cup of tea. It’s now 10:00 and I’m getting ready to go and get some milk for my cup of tea. Should I get coffee? Hm nah i’ll get tea. On my way to the shops it seemed a little strange it was very quiet and know one was out, I was surprised because people are always out at this time. When I arrived at the shop it was closed. Why was it closed?
November 23, 2012 at 1:00 pm
This is shaping up well, Ramone.
My advice to you at this early stage is to focus a lot more on the setting. The mood and atmosphere of a piece of writing is developed by focussing on the place – the sound, look, smell of where the action happens.
If you look back at the writing examples we used, you’ll see that most of the first pages of those novels were spent their time describing the place in detail, and only giving very simple information about events or characters.
I look forward to watching this develop!
Mr Waugh
November 23, 2012 at 3:21 pm
Mr Waugh is it alright if I say cuppa instead of cup of tea
November 23, 2012 at 3:26 pm
Yes, it is – it’s called “Colloquial” if you do that. It’s important that it’s someone speaking if you use it that way.